Last week my journalism professor asked me if I'd gotten an internship yet and I was forced into telling him I didn't want to be a reporter anymore. He looked at me kind of surprised and said, "Oh, that's too bad" in a surprisingly sincere voice, so I just didn't have the heart to tell him it was his class last semester that ruined any hopes I'd had of being a reporter.

That's what I've learned at college. I've learned that I don't really want to be what I thought I wanted to be. In December I graduate with a degree that qualifies me to do what I don't want to do. Listening to the supervisor of the family crimes unit for the Duluth Police Department speak in my journalism class yesterday, I decided I want to work in law enforcement. Is it too late to change majors?

What a lovely weekend! Wasn't this weekend downright wonderful? The weather - goodness me! What did we do to deserve such weather? I suppose I was in pretty good company, too, which probably added to the loveliness of the past few days.

Darren came up early Thursday afternoon and left early this morning and we had a very enjoyable three or so days. I did lose him for quite a while yesterday, but we'll get to that.

My highlights this weekend included spending several hours Friday night at Canal Park, waiting in vain for the 'Gurth to arrive and trying to keep warm while listening to a polka band in the distance. (I would prefer polka be in the background as opposed to the foreground in most situations.) Eventually a lesser ship left the port and we called it a night, but I still - after all these years - can't get over how charming Duluth is, especially at night, with the city lights dancing on Lake Superior's ripples. It really was a gorgeous evening, especially for late September, and gross as it may be, I loved every second of walking along, holding Darren's hand and sneaking glances at him because he looked so gosh darn cute.

Yesterday was another uncharacteristically perfect day. After forcing my favorite young man to climb Enger Tower with me (and pose for pictures), we hopped in the car and trekked to Two Harbors, where my mother- and father-in-law (haha...maybe someday?) were camping with three other families. I got to meet lots and lots of new people (I think I may even remember some of their names!) and hear stories about Darren and his parents and his sister and his ex-girlfriend and her daughter and it was all very entertaining. I had six full hours to hear all of this good stuff, you see, as Darren went off golfing with "the boys" and I was left with his mother. Thankfully, his mother is great and entertaining and I'm perfectly comfotable around her. Otherwise, Darren would be in deep shit.

So here I am, left feeling sore and lonely. I really need to stop getting so attached to that kid every time he comes up to visit. But oh! How neat! Next weekend I'm going home and so is my sister! Too bad I have to work. Alas, the shifts will only be eight hours, rather than nine. Joy!

Sadly, I have to do homework this week. Papers...blech...and I even have a test! I guess this is what it's supposed to be like. I've also decided that my long weekends aren't long enough. They just don't drag by anymore. I hope I don't get too used to this or it could be a problem down the road.

Did you know I only have 48 more days of classes?

Weight loss is a bitch and I'm willing to challenge anyone who thinks differently.

But, after weighing myself this weekend I realized - with much gleeful squealing - that I now weigh 160 pounds. Then I realized I've been doing this for nearly two months and that's really, really slow progress.

This weekend, a co-worker (Amber, whom I love dearly and who keeps me filled in on Tower's latest high school gossip) asked me how long it's been since I started my diet. She didn't mean the recent diet, but the overall practice of not eating so horseshit. Well, it's been a year and nine months (to the day, in fact), with a several-month lapse in which I indulged in copious amounts of pizza and other stuff that actually tastes good.

Which got me to thinking about how my life has changed since I started losing weight. The reason I started dieting last January was because I was planning on traveling to England to meet my then-boyfriend's family and friends. Of course I couldn't be super-duper fat for that, so I figured I'd do what I could to lose a few pounds.

As it turned out, once I started losing a little weight, boys actually noticed I existed. Not a lot of boys, granted, and not any boys that would really be worth any sane person's time of day, but they were male and that was all I was really concerned about. Suddenly I realized I may be able to find a guy that doesn't like in another bloody country - maybe even somebody I liked! (Yes, at this point I was beginning to like my then-boyfriend less and less.) So then I dumped him. After three years and many plans involving him moving to the States or me attending college overseas, I dumped him. Why not?

And then... AND THEN! Last summer at work boys smiled at me! Made small talk! Complimented! Dare I say some of the older men flirted? (Yes, they were over 50, but it still didn't hurt matters.) It's true most of this happened also after I had discovered the wonders of make-up (it only took 20 years) and hair brushes, but it sure made me feel dandy.

Since that time, I've had some highs and lows, mostly (and I know it shouldn't be this way but it is) thanks to boys. However, I'm happy now - happier than I thought I could be - with someone who I think compliments me perfectly. I can't help but think if I hadn't changed my lifestyle last year, I would still be in an unhappy relationship, convinced I needed a man in my life to make it complete and not caring who it was. Fellows really do help the happiness level, but I know they're not necessary to lead a fulfilling life.

I don't know how much weight I've lost because I wouldn't go near a scale before I changed my eating habits. I'm curious now, but part of me is glad I don't know. Looking back at old pictures, I just can't comprehend how I could do that to myself. I feel so much better now - healthier, livelier, more confident and just a lot less fat in general.

I still have a lot of weight left to lose and I know the pounds are going to become increasingly more difficult to shed, particularly when exercise isn't part of the deal I've worked out with myself.

If I lose ten more pounds, I'm going to Pizza Hut and not even Lord Voldemort himself could stop me. Unless, of course, I accidentally happen to end up their before my next goal has been met.

I get to go home tomorrow and I'm so excited I could squeal. Of course I also have to work on Friday and Saturday, more or less shooting the weekend all to hell, but I'm still thrilled to be going to the northwoods where I get to see my parents and my dog and everything else that my wonderful little hometown has to offer. (Beeb perhaps? I can only hope!)

I love Duluth. I just need some transition time. As I mentioned, the transition has been less severe in past years, I think because I lived in the same place the past couple of years and before that my sister was here. There are fewer comforts this year than before so I'm looking forward to going back and spending some time where everything is comfortable.

My only hope - which also happens to be a distinct possibility - is that something rotten will happen this weekend (probably at work) and I'll realize that home isn't so wonderful and I can't wait to get back to school.

My weekend starts tomorrow, which is strange since my week seems to have also just started. I guess that's what happens when you're "work week" is shorter than your weekend. All this free time might kill me, people. Even I am having troubles finding enough homework to keep me occupied, and I'm not one to skimp on homework. I shall not complain though, as this will be the last period of my life outside of the real world.

Today, especially this morning, was one of the more rotten days I've lived through. I woke up (not to my alarm, mind you, because when you don't need to be ready for the day until 2 PM there's no need to set your alarm) and had an overwhelming feeling of loneliness.

I lay in bed and miss my mom and my dad and my dog and my room and just...home. It's not that I don't enjoy it here; it's just that I miss the comforts of home, and it really hit me hard this morning. I moped my way through a shower and by the time I got out, nobody was home. So here's lonely girl, feeling all the more lonely because there's no one home to talk to. Woe is lonely girl.

Then to make matters worse I got to play the kidney stone game this morning. That's right. Not one, but two - TWO! - of the little suckers weaseled out of me this morning. There's nothing quite as disturbing as sitting on a toilet and crying.

After about 45 minutes and at least a dozen trips to the bathroom, I had my problem mostly sorted out (though I can still feel at least one more of those little buggers lingering...waiting...ready to ruin me).

The scariest - and possibly saddest - part of the day, however, was how I managed to cheer myself up: by spending three hours in the library working on an independent study class that I don't have to worry about for at least another week and a half. I'm taking this as a sign that I really need another class or a hobby or a job or a puppy.

Apparently my new "thing" is trying to be an adult. This weekend I bought a business suit, a cell phone, and cute little glasses. When you add those all together and mix in a job, I may very well be considered a grown-up. Too bad I don't have a job. A real job, I mean. It's almost like I expect someone to just say, "Oh hey, here, we'll hire you," without all the nonsense of job searches and interviews. Dream on, eh?

But really, I got a cell phone. And to counteract the possible grown-up connotations that may underlie my purchase, one reason I got the phone was because I never got drunken phone calls at ungodly hours and, frankly, I felt a little left out because of it. So, my inebriated compadres, bring it on. I am so ready for you.

Did I mention Darren came up this weekend? We had a grand time with shopping (obviously), frozen yogurt, movies and - bonus - a surprise ship coming into port last night while we were at Canal Park! He slept til noon on Friday, which didn't impress me much, then got drowsy again a couple of hours later when he overdosed on children's Benodryl which, in all honesty, couldn't bother me. In fact the highlight of the weekend was probably watching him, 26 years old and roughly 240 pounds, trying to fight the sleepiness from drugs intended for 9-year-olds.

Ah, it's the little things in life.

It's Thursday, it's not even 2 PM, but, to me, it's the weekend. I wish words could express just how utterly kick-ass that is.

All signs are pointing toward a relatively easy semester, which you may have guessed by the lack of classes. I have one class, however, that will dominate my time. I know I'll hate it, but I feel fortunate to have a class that is going to actually force me into writing resumes and cover letters and looking for employment. Otherwise, I can tell you, it would never get done.

I'm adapting to the new apartment and getting used to the niceties it provides that the last apartment did not. The inconveniences are also becoming more apparent. Living on the fourth floor, I see lots of stairs every time I wish to leave the apartment. The stairs are pleasant enough, as stairs go. They're covered in the red-orange-brown rectangular tiling that is most commonly found in fast food restaurant bathrooms. You know, the tiling with the smokey dark brown coloring creeping across it diagonally. Did you know that, to some of us, those faux shadows actually look like REAL shadows and they cause us to step on steps that aren't there and hurt ourselves?

Now, I hate to be one to bitch, but that doesn't stop me from bitching. I lack the depth perception that most individuals are blessed with, and stairs often confuse me. By confuse me, I mean they melt together in my mind and I perceive them to be one big, flat plane. The fact that I know there ARE stairs there leads me to attempt to hit them without tripping. But, to nobody's surprise, I have already had several near-falling experiences in that stairwell and if I don't die by the end of the semester, I will be a happy woman.

And did I mention that our toilet and shower are on opposite sides of the apartment? Weeiiirrrd.

Here I am, back to school and all settled in. It feels weirder this year than ever before - there are a few key people missing, I'm not sharing a room, and I'm living away from the apartment buildings where I spent my first three years at college.

All in all though, I can't complain. I'm convinced it's going to be a bearable semester, particularly because I just spent $63.10 on my books for all my classes. That's it! Under 65 dollars! Too cool.

I moved my stuff in on Friday afternoon, which was an exerience. After enduring weeks of 50 and 60 degree weather, Friday was (and no, I can't verify this, but it must be true!) one of the hottest days of the summer. Did I mention I live on the fourth floor, we moved in at 2 PM and there are no elevators?

I spent last weekend in the Cities, which was a real blast. I hadn't been there since May and I wished I could have stayed longer. We went to the great Minnesota gathering on Saturday morning and bowling Saturday evening (mix in some beer and some boys and you've got yourself a good time.) Yesterday Darren picked me up and treated me to yogurt and wings. What a guy!

What's that you say? Buffalo wings aren't good for people on diets? You know nothing