First I would like to point out I am typing this from the bathtub, where I am cozied up with that new $950 laptop I just had to drunkenly have. Are stupid things less stupid if I know they're stupid but do them anyway? Or does that make them more stupid?

I had a ridiculously wonderful weekend and, I'm not gonna lie, I felt sort of bad enjoying myself in Tower without Fahj there. I know he would want us to keep living life and keep laughing, but it still feels wrong. This is only the second time I've visited home since he died and I hardly cried at all. I think most of the joy can be attributed to Taylor, who elicits gut-busting laughter everywhere she goes. I always considered myself to have more of an ... adult ... humor, but this kid makes me laugh like no other. I've been telling everyone I want to give birth to an 18-month-old tomorrow. She's that awesome.

The weekend was pretty normal in most respects. I got Friday off since I worked the previous weekend and planned to take the express evening bus up on Thursday night and head to Tower with Nij early Friday morning. However, we got a touch of snow and Thursday night's express bus was canceled so I was forced into taking the 10:45am bus on Friday, which takes four hours and fifteen minutes to get to Duluth. Inmothafuckinsane. Say what you will about the Iron Range, blog, but four and a half inches of snow has never constituted a blizzard north of Hinckley.

When we got to Tower on Friday, I saved a bunch of Fahj's shirts from the donation garbage bags in Mom's room. No one is going to want sixteen techfest t-shirts and beat-to-shit flannels anyway, right? I think they look damn good hanging in my yellow closet.

It was a weekend filled with enough Wii Fit that Nij and I will probably not be right for three weeks, Taylor saying "yeah" and nodding in response to most every question asked, a deer antler lost behind Fahj's dresser (and the resulting eeb panic), Travis the neighbor visiting for hours because he's in love with me, frosting-covered chicken and broccoli (and the subsequent Stevie Wonder head swaying), Mama the squirrel, hot bologna and enough pumpkin cake to kill a common man. Thank God I'm neither common nor a man.

This weekend I also realized how empty my life would be without Nij. Honest to blog (get it? that's you), she is an extension of me and I don't know how I would be able to deal with Dad's death or life in general without her. I am thankful for how lucky I am to have her in my life and hope we never grow apart. A lot of people envy our closeness and, damn it, they should. I better fucking die before she does or we better fucking die together.