So this is 2009, huh? Here’s hoping it’s better than 2008 but, really, there’s not much a of a chance it could get worse.

Fahj –THE Fahj – collapsed at work on December 10, was determined to have had an aortic aneurysm and was declared braindead at St Mary’s in Duluth two days later. I’m going to follow the “there are no words” line someone told me at the funeral as she hugged me (I have no idea who she was. I had no idea who so many people at the funeral were.), but my heart, my life, my family, the world will never be the same. I never knew I’d be able to live without Dad but it’s remarkable how time keeps marching on and life does its best to get back to the new standard of normal. I don’t like the new normal. I want the old normal. If the roads hadn’t been bad enough to take the chopper, he might have had a chance, but he would still be in the hospital now.

There are so many reasons it isn’t fair. He was too young, he was too healthy, he meant too much to too many people.

What happened to “there are no words”, right?

I’ve been back at work for three days and I feel like I never left. Ironically, after 24 hours in the hospital with dad, I forgot I even had a job outside of praying for him to get better. Speaking of which, Dad, mass four times in two weeks! Be proud! Tell Gram!

It’s insane I don’t have more going on considering the past three weeks have been the most exhausting of my life. I wouldn’t recommend anyone let their dad die. And, if you do let him die, let it be from hugging him too hard, too frequently.