Weight loss is a bitch and I'm willing to challenge anyone who thinks differently.

But, after weighing myself this weekend I realized - with much gleeful squealing - that I now weigh 160 pounds. Then I realized I've been doing this for nearly two months and that's really, really slow progress.

This weekend, a co-worker (Amber, whom I love dearly and who keeps me filled in on Tower's latest high school gossip) asked me how long it's been since I started my diet. She didn't mean the recent diet, but the overall practice of not eating so horseshit. Well, it's been a year and nine months (to the day, in fact), with a several-month lapse in which I indulged in copious amounts of pizza and other stuff that actually tastes good.

Which got me to thinking about how my life has changed since I started losing weight. The reason I started dieting last January was because I was planning on traveling to England to meet my then-boyfriend's family and friends. Of course I couldn't be super-duper fat for that, so I figured I'd do what I could to lose a few pounds.

As it turned out, once I started losing a little weight, boys actually noticed I existed. Not a lot of boys, granted, and not any boys that would really be worth any sane person's time of day, but they were male and that was all I was really concerned about. Suddenly I realized I may be able to find a guy that doesn't like in another bloody country - maybe even somebody I liked! (Yes, at this point I was beginning to like my then-boyfriend less and less.) So then I dumped him. After three years and many plans involving him moving to the States or me attending college overseas, I dumped him. Why not?

And then... AND THEN! Last summer at work boys smiled at me! Made small talk! Complimented! Dare I say some of the older men flirted? (Yes, they were over 50, but it still didn't hurt matters.) It's true most of this happened also after I had discovered the wonders of make-up (it only took 20 years) and hair brushes, but it sure made me feel dandy.

Since that time, I've had some highs and lows, mostly (and I know it shouldn't be this way but it is) thanks to boys. However, I'm happy now - happier than I thought I could be - with someone who I think compliments me perfectly. I can't help but think if I hadn't changed my lifestyle last year, I would still be in an unhappy relationship, convinced I needed a man in my life to make it complete and not caring who it was. Fellows really do help the happiness level, but I know they're not necessary to lead a fulfilling life.

I don't know how much weight I've lost because I wouldn't go near a scale before I changed my eating habits. I'm curious now, but part of me is glad I don't know. Looking back at old pictures, I just can't comprehend how I could do that to myself. I feel so much better now - healthier, livelier, more confident and just a lot less fat in general.

I still have a lot of weight left to lose and I know the pounds are going to become increasingly more difficult to shed, particularly when exercise isn't part of the deal I've worked out with myself.

If I lose ten more pounds, I'm going to Pizza Hut and not even Lord Voldemort himself could stop me. Unless, of course, I accidentally happen to end up their before my next goal has been met.