If you are in my presence, you will never cry alone.

Today I attended a funeral for one of my co-workers, Cindy. She was 52 when she died on Sunday after battling cancer on and off for five years. Cindy and her step-daughter were diagnosed with cancer within two days of each other, Cindy with breast cancer and her step-daughter with brain cancer. In August, her step-daughter was given six months to live. Today she stood up and gave a poignant account of Cindy as she knew her. Holy Lord did I cry.

I only worked with Cindy for two months, but in that short time it was clear how special she was. You could never meet a more happy-go-lucky person who has no hair and whose vocal chords and facial muscles have been paralyzed by chemo. OK, so you probably couldn't meet a more happy-go-lucky person, period.

I was one of the people who knew Cindy for the shortest period of time at her funeral today and I was probably one of the people that cried the most. How unfair for such a beautiful person to die so soon? She touched so many lives and all I kept thinking about was her poor 16-year-old son. Could there BE a more difficult time to lose your mother? Of course then I would think about losing my mom…or my sister…or my anyone, and then I'd cry harder. I don't recall crying at funerals before, but today I realized that it's been eleven years since I've attended a funeral and I've gone through puberty since then. Puberty changes everything.

Death has been on my mind too much lately, what with the dead gal on the sidewalk last week and Cindy dying on Sunday. It makes me feel guilty for everything unkind or unfair that I have done in my life, for complaining about walking up three flights of stairs when some people are too weak to walk at all...for bitching about not getting to go to the movie I want to go to when so many people can't even see…for whining about how my hair looks when Cindy was bald and smiling until the day she died.

I think it's a good time so try to start being more thankful for what I have because if I died today, I would have more regrets than I'd be able to count. Here's to being a better person, eh?