While I was waiting for the bus after work today, a "homeless bum" (information he provided without my asking, mind you) made fun of me for reading Harry Potter, saying I'm an adult now and it's time to read big girl books. But we did have something in common - his nickname was Harry Potter in jail. Somehow I didn't feel bad being called childish by a former inmate, current homeless kid.

But moving along to the promised inantimate object post...

If you ever come to my little corner of heaven, you will see it's like Christmas every day here. The kind of Christmas where elves are stabbed in the eye with splintered toothpicks and Santa skids down your chimney to rape your mom, then sets your house alight and whips the hell out of Rudolph and the boys on the way out, focusing on not spilling hsi beer on his already-stained red suit while ho ho hoing his boisterous glee.

THIS is the kind of Christmas I'm talking about:



Since the very first day I stepped foot in this apartment (shortly after Christmas in 2004), this freaky little fellow has been prominently displayed on top of the stereo speaker...along with all that dust. Does anybody else find this nearly as disturbing as I do? I have a funny feeling this little beast comes alive every morning when I leave for work and causes chaos throughout the day. That would explain the mess that never seems to go away no matter how much Darren tries to clean up after me.

If you ever visit my apartment, you will also notice that there is no real decorating to speak of. Darren planned on living here for a very short period of time and, two and a half years later, he's still talking about moving out. Therefore, no decorating. Except the cat....



...and the snowmen, which have been hanging on the door since the first day I set foot here. I spy a theme.

And finally, I present to you President Taft and Buddy, both of whom Darren won at the state fair for me and who collectively take up a tenth of the apartment.



Coming sometime soon: Pictures worth seeing!