Because you deserve it...

I plan on looking kind of like this, this weekend,

No, not the devil - just really drunk.

Do you see that disgusting growth on my lip that is partially covered by my tongue and that I attempted - poorly - to cover with make-up? That thing was seriously taking over my face a few weeks ago. I don't know what the hell it was, but it went from my bottom lip to my chin. Darren hasn't kissed me since.