Mercy. What a party. I’m not even sure whether it was a good party, but I know I had a damn good time and I still hurt from laughing, so I’m going to count it as a success. Angie had a good time too (the better part of a bottle of tequila will do that), which was made most evident by the stream of gibberish and giggling she spewed forth when I woke her up to see if she had washed her face. I think we deduced that she had – maybe even for a minute and a half!

I didn’t get kicked out and I didn’t have any noise complaints, which only makes me think all my neighbors were out of the state. Darren and I DID NOT FIGHT, which was easy since we didn’t really talk. He didn’t mind that we didn’t talk and he also didn’t outwardly disapprove of my drunkenness. Good choices, Darren! Things are looking up However, I still haven’t remembered to clean the beer off my wall.

I had a rough night last night, so I’ve made some resolutions. A life makeover is in order, as my facebook status indicates. Among other things that I am also going to work on, I need to weed out the negative people in my life, the people who won’t make me happy. I don’t do drama and I need to stop trying to deal with people who do. Darren is so lucky he’s trying to change. But yeah, long story short, I’m done perpetuating the cycle that makes me feel bad about myself.

Today begins Baseball Season 2008. Every year when regular season rolls around, I wonder how I lived without this fine sport for so long. Things are looking up!

Tonight’s the night! Tonight’s the night! This evening is my housewarming party, one day short of my four-month move-in anniversary. Timeliness is pretty much my strongest attribute.

My party will most definitely lead to a hangover and a fight with Darren and it might also lead to eviction, a visit from the Minneapolis PD, and trying furiously to clean vomit from my carpet. Needless to say I haven’t been this jacked for something in a VERY long time.

Last night I watched my cousin’s basketball team on TV and, in doing so, strengthened my crush on my former GM’s son. Prepare me a prison cell; I have a crush on a child.

I sure hope my motivation comes back by Monday morning because these Episcopalians aren’t going to plan themselves.

Another fantastic holiday, courtesy of the Morley family! I have a feeling they are going to continue getting progressively better now that we’ve got Taylor in the mix. I don’t know how, but I think that baby has sprinkled some of her magic baby dust and made my parents like each other. I was kind of scared how well ma n pa got along this weekend. He even sliced the blessed oranges for her!

Angie forced me to go out on Friday night to start the weekend off, but I made her buy all my drinks for me. I don’t know how I could ever be considered a cheap drunk, but in Tower I AM. Seven-dollar pitchers, shots appearing out of nowhere and A MEAT RAFFLE, which we lost, lost and lost some more. I don’t mind though, because I don’t know how to cook a ham. Angie attracted an old guy with big cheeks, which is pretty typical, and we referred to him at Class of ’86. On Saturday we beautified some eggs and I had a food coloring accident, then I made ugly purple-brown eggs. On Sunday, I was the only one who understood Father Sebastian at mass because THAT INDIAN MAN HAS AN ACCENT and no one in Tower knows about accents. Or India. I’m no exception, but at least I understood the sermon about Holi, damn it.

As wonderful as it was, the weekend in small town USA has increased my paranoia tenfold. Both yesterday and this morning walking to work, I had my hand on my pepper spray ready to flip the switch and attack. That persistent pain in the ass is lucky he’s taken the past couple of days off from asking me for a dollar.

And, uh, my boss put in her two weeks yesterday. Words can’t express how much that blows. Just for shits and giggles, I counted the number of people who have left since I started here three years ago, and I came up with fifteen. Fifteen people in a sixteen-person office. Only three were here when I got here, and two of them are in accounting. Don’t I deserve a medal or some other sort of recognition of my stupidity?

I know I’ve said it before and I don’t blame anyone if they want to call bullshit, but I think it’s time I resurrect the old blog. Talking with Brian, I realized how much I enjoy looking back at old entries and reminiscing about the good times. I’ve slacked as much as I have mostly because at this point, work is a great deal of my life – particularly the griping (and okay I admit it, some of the good stuff too) – and talking about work on blogs can get you fired, you know.

I also know how well-read this little bugger is. I’m going to go ahead and trust Angie not to turn me in. Rock on, for I am a fearless beast.

Additionally, I have grown incredibly stupid since college ended and apparently writing it supposed to cure stupidity. If I don’t write, is this what it’s going to be like for the rest of me life? Am I going to grow progressively dumber until age 50 when I forget how to tie a shoe? That’s up there with forgetting how to go up or down stairs, a problem I am inflicted with at least weekly. Don’t worry, it always comes back.

I was watching a special on KARE 11 this morning, which, speaking of, I have been made weepy by their extras TWO days in a row now. Something about Boyd Huppert brings a tear to my eye. I hope I never run into him in the grocery store because I am so over crying in the grocery store.

But I digress. The stories on KARE 11 about high school students, this morning particularly, make me feel academically inferior (hello, Tower-Soudan High School!) and generally intellectually inadequate. When did they start teaching high school kids how to form sentences so well? And to use nine-syllable words? And the compassion and the Japanese-speaking and the girl who is getting her associate’s degree before her high school diploma! As you can see, Tim McNiff and the gang (but mostly Tim McNiff) move me. FOX News can chew on my anoos – I’ll take feel-good stories any day. And do you know why? Because feeling good feels good. And what’s this I hear about the red, white and blue being involved in a war? Nonsense!

PS, FOX, THE POPE WASN’T DEAD!

In other news, I made the biggest purchase of my life thus far last night. Savings? Who needs savings when you can have an ELLIPTICAL MACHINE? I figure a stab at healthiness wouldn’t hurt me so much, now would it? If I spend one more month of my life fretting about my weight, I’m going to attempt liposuction on myself with a paring knife and high-powered dustbuster. Did I mention Darren and I overindulged at the ChopHouse before going to 2nd Wind to pick out my new baby? Crabcakes and tenderloin and lobster mac and cheese, oh my! No wonder I’m so porky!