Me: "Will you put some lotion on my arms?"

Him: "I know, my arms are realy bad too. The water must be dry here."

THANK YOU, DARREN.

It took us a long time to get there, but it's finally happened.

This weekend Angie got drunker than I did. Seriously. She forgot things and almost tipped over when she walked and she brought home a random anal suppository of a hockey coach, the blessed "virgin" Joshie. He told me and Aurora repeatedly that he just wanted to make out with my sister, so I told him to go ahead, but don't expect me not to interrupt you obnoxiously and often. Eventually I had to tell him to shut the fuck up and step off telling ME what to do in MY sister's apartment. Men...

I don't feel the need to recell the entire weekend, as Aurora and Angie have done such a nice job. Hell, Aurora even had a running blog throughout the evening! That probably says something for our entertaining skills, but what the hay, at least we had a few laughs.

My highlight for the evening was Aurora showing up at the Radisson because I love squealing girls as long as I know them (and if I don't know them I hate them so much my face bleeds) and Angie not only repeatedly forgetting Josh's name, but ditching him IN HER BED to come see what Aurora and I were up to. I'm not sure how many times she said, "Who's Josh?" or "What's his name?" but I imagine it was right around a dozen. Jack she remembered, though. Oh yes, Jack is one to be remembered. (Note to Neej: Jack's dad's name was DAVE.)

Side note for those of you who are keeping score - I DID fall and I DID shed blood. It's probably more mentionable if that doesn't happen, but there you have it.

Another of the highlights isn't even related to being drunk, if you can believe it. I got to hang out with my dad and my sister in Duluth - just the three of us. I felt twelve again, exploring the Skywalk with Neej and Faj. My dad tried to bribe me back to Dooloot by dangling a new boat in front of my pallid face (metaphorically speaking, of course) and I must say, after this weekend, I'm damn tempted. I love that man.

Also, Brody turned four on Saturday and now I think it's time for him to stop growing up.

Olympians turn me on. What can I say? It all started ten years ago with Gary Hall Jr. Alexi Nemov and Blaine Wilson. My new favorite? Shaun White.

I'm in love with Ronald Weasley's look-alike. The fact that he's Ronald Weasley's look-alike only fuels the attraction, I'm sure, but I'm growing increasingly concerned about my attraction for redheads. Think of our children. They'd be ghastly! I've already informed Darren that Mr. White and I were meant to marry...now if only we could meet. Amanda White. It could only be more fitting if his last name were Albino.

But really, what a sweetheart. He watched the opening ceremonies with his jaw visibly dropped, wide-eyed, taking it all in. Nineteen years old and, after winning gold, he abandoned his attempts to stifle the tears once he saw his family. They weren't gross sobby tears either. He's even good at crying.

Today I told Missy about my new love and she said she saw him snowboarding seven years ago and she told his mother and sister, "He's really going to be something in a few years." Right you are, Missy, and my connection (far-fetched as it may be) only proves it was Meant To Be.

What would life be without crushes? Do married people have crushes? Because I don't think I could give this up.

Man alive do I have an exciting weekend in store. In fact my next THREE weekends are going to be the shit.

In about 20 minutes, I get to go to lunch with this week's birthday girl, Alexis, as well as Chelsea, Aurora, and maybe even Kelly, Rachel and Chris. After that Nij is coming and we're going to stay at a hotel room for very cheap and we're going to bond and shop and eat and it is going to be GOOD. Next weekend, Darren and I are escaping to Lutsen, which is arguably stupid, since we don't plan on skiing. However, I needed a little getaway to look forward to, even if it's only for a weekend. Since I couldn't get anyone to fly anywhere with me and Lutsen is cheaper...viola. And the weekend after THAT, I get to spend quality time in Duluth with, again, Nij.

But now, something mildly entertaining. When I called Alexis yesterday and I begged her for a ride to lunch today since I have a mobility impairment, I mentioned that I've never spent much time in uptown, where will be enjoying today's meal.

This led me to remember the last time I was in uptown on the bus on a Saturday headed downtown to work coat check at the hotel. I knew I would be working until roughly midnight and I spent the day debating whether I would take a cab home or brave the bus late at night. Yes, I'm that much of a pansy.

Anyway, my debate was resolved on the way TO work at four o'clock in the afternoon. At uptown station, a drunk man stumbled onto the bus with an equally fucked-up friend and sat with me. I hoped he wouldn't talk, but before long he was telliing me about how he had a fight with his girlfriend the night before, then he proceeded to try to woo me (I think he was trying to woo me, at least) with talk of his ex-drug dealer neighbor named Spam who is a really good guy, but the FBI is after him so he "doesn't exist." The reason this guy had to move away from Spam was because he was addicted to drugs. I was tempted to get off the bus several blocks - hell, miles - away from my stop because he was such a pain in the ass, but 1) I was wearing heels and I just plain don't do well in heels and 2) he told me I was beautiful, so I let him stay and I didn't even slap him when he slid his hand up my thigh. Okay, that last part didn't happen and THANK GOD FOR THAT. It's true, though, that he couldn't believe I wouldn't take his phone number. I took a cab home that night. It's a good thing radiologists are good tippers.

One more note - I had my review yesterday (my very first) and it turns out my boss thinks I'm pretty darn neat. I was freaking out for at least two weeks prior, fully convinced I would lose my job, but I think I'm safe for the time being. We went to dinner and a Wild game last week on the company, which makes me love that place even more. However, it does make me sad that I'm the ugliest person employed there.