this is what having a few days off from school is all about. i just slept for thirteen hours. THIRTEEN. i went to bed early last night because i knew if i stayed up any longer i'd eat more and if i ate more i'd die. then i woke up late this morning. i feel like a brand new person.

i consider this to be just a preview of what christmas break holds. did i mention it's only three weeks until christmas break? i'll be babysitting the cutest rugrat around, but not every day. i find it strangely amusing (but don't get me wrong, i love it) to go from completely stressed out bedlam to utter lethargy in a matter of hours. finals week to break. bam. just like that.

speaking of lethargy, it's 11:30 and i'm not yet dressed. i even have to work today (gasp)...but i can't find my pants. sounds like i had a wild night last night, eh? yeah...i can dream on.

no more classes for FIVE DAYS. could it be real? or is this some sort of sick dream? i think i'll just accept it as reality and run with it.

i could tell the kind of day it was going to be first thing this morning in my american politics class. i was still slightly tipsy from last night's festivities and the 86-year-old man from india who usually annoys me beyond comprehension totally cracked me up. it all started when he needed some water. from his bulging briefcase he produced a bottle of water and a glass. an actual, honest to goodness glass. he then proceeded to pour himself a glass of water, from the bottle, and drank most of it. when he'd had enough he poured the remains on the floor and returned the glass to his tote. i couldn't stop the giggles. not that i really tried.

it's thanksgiving tomorrow, so i feel i should probably express my amazement with and thankfulness for good people, particularly my parents. i can't get over how they try to give me the world and how they're willing to sacrifice so much for my happiness. i can't believe it took my until just recently to fully realize what geniunely selfless people they are. i just love them to pieces and hope i can fashion my life after theirs.

so there's my sappy tribute to turkey day. i hope everyone has a great one!

i'm overwhelmed by my own lack of intelligence right now. the only thing within my capacity to do at this moment is blog. so blog i will.

for the past month or so i've been slaving away on a feature story for my broadcast news writing class. it's the final project and the culmination of the class. our objective is to have our stories air on the campus radio station...big whoop, eh? regardless, my rough draft of the story is due tomorrow, so i was down in the lab today to mix that bad boy up. i had the story finished and i asked my professor to help me with a fade and she told me, "this doesn't sound like you. this sounds like a chipmunk. you've got the pitch wrong." that's right, ladies and gents, messed up the entire freaking thing. that's okay. i'm over it.

i've had my eyes on the prize all week. you know what i'm talkin about. that jennie-o. that gold'n plump. that fine piece of turkey. i'm not sure i've ever been so excited to go home. there is food at the end of the tunnel... and that's good. i've had about all the rice and pasta i can handle for a while. at least for a weekend.

what better way to break up an evening of nothingness than with a spin on the unicycle? and in the hallway, no less. the fun just never stops in this place.

i hate to be one to bitch, but now i've got these sharp pains shooting through my lower abdomen. it's really quite bizarre. i'm convinced there's a baby floating around in there somewhere. this could mean just one thing. that's right...

immaculate misconception.

oh the philosophical neglect. how sad is it that nothing in my life has even been blog-worthy these past few days? okay, well maybe alexis sitting on the floor in the corner of her teeny bathroom after vomiting, telling a joke i can't even remember. trust me, people. it doesn't much sound like it, but it was flat out hilarious. it's a visual i just can't shake. what a riot.

i've got the apartment to myself this weekend. it's amazing how one small area can go from chaos to calmness in no time. it's actually quite eerie. but good eerie, not loch ness monster eerie. anyhoo, i'm going to put in my contacts and see just how much of that white crap was dumped on us last night.

sometimes i sit at my computer and laugh. not a big, hearty guffaw, but a stifled giggle. only the exceptionally funny crap warrants even the repressed chuckle. i don't laugh at just anything. regardless, aurora seems to think i have some sort of mental deficiency. she just told me i'm demented. the nerve.

honestly people, i was laughing at the love child alexis and i are going to somehow conceive. little lily. lily with her long, curly blonde hair and her dark, dark complexion. that's right, she's going to look just like us.

i bought a loaf of bread last night. i never thought bread, of all things, would be such a treat. this must be how inmates feel. and FRESH bread. my goodness, i quiver at the thought.

i need to go indulge in its tender tastiness now. oh how you must envy me.

so here i sit, before my favorite form of procrastination. and i grapple over a topic to philosophize on. and let me tell you, kids, i'm drawing a blank. all i can really think about is this weekend. and pudge.

i went to the cities this weekend to visit my darling sister. it turns out that, despite our cat fights, we are rather inseparable after all. being the brave souls we are, we decided we needed to find a mall. and let me tell you, we found an absolute peach. not only did we find a mall, but we found a mall with a pet store. and in the pet store there were puppies. and one of the puppies was little pudge, the cutest thing to ever draw in breath on this fine earth.

pudge is a golden retriever pup. angie had the honors of naming him, since she's convinced he will surely be hers someday. every time i think of him, i can see the fluffy little guy in an itty bitty texas rangers jersey (i know i know, he's no longer a ranger, but i just can't shake the image), gnawing on a catcher's mitt behind home plate. i can't help myself. what a cutie.

and as i ponder pudge and the life he may lead (i think normal people might actually do this with their children), i wonder how anyone could ever think there's a cuter puppy out there than the golden retriever. deep down, i really don't believe i'm biased in my claim that there is simply nothing as adorable as a golden retriever puppy. i accept it as factual information...as common knowledge. maybe i could blame it on my upbringing. i could point the finger at my parents, who failed to socialize me with other puppies. but honestly, is there actually anyone out there who thinks a greyhound is cuter than a golden retriever? please, put my mind at ease.

you know what's funny? how you can think you know what you want to do with your life, then you get a taste of doing it and it tastes a lot like silver wolf vodka...you know, the stuff that's $9.99 for a 1.75 liter bottle. it leaves a bad taste in your mouth. then it makes you vomit. THEN it makes you wake up the next morning with a headache, wishing you were dead. okay okay, so the silver wolf is gone and i didn't puke, though that would really accentuate my point. wait...what was my point?

anyway, i went to a pre-school this morning to conduct interviews for my broadcast feature, but i ended up playing with the darling chitlens instead of talking to the teacher. oops. could this indicate a poor choice in academic majors? possibly so. but there's no turning back now. i think that suffering with a horseshit job for the rest of my life is a small price to pay in comparison to staying here a few more years.

so to celebrate the realization that i'm going to be a poor, unhappy schmuck for the rest of my life, i'm going to have a beer. and damn it, alexis is going to have a beer with me. and then we're going to play LIFE. dear LIFE...where you can go from being a doctor making $20,000 a year living in a farmhouse to an artist earning $100,000 and living in a double-wide with the 14 children you and your lesbian lover somehow managed to squeeze out. ahh, we can only dream of the day where LIFE will meet reality... :)

i am a slave to conformity. i don't lead; i follow. but i am one hell of a follower. thus, my blog is up and running months after those of even the starving bosnian children. power to the people i copied. i can only hope to be half as entertaining as you all.

walking to class today, i was thinking about how this earth's fine creator either has a bone to pick with me or possesses a really sick sense of humor. i lack grace, you see. it's funny how it only seems to snow right before i have to walk to class. and i wonder to myself as i meander down the hill toward LSH, should i continue taking baby steps, looking like a fool, or should i walk with reckless abandon over the slippery slush and risk falling, but as least look cool if i don't? usually, i take the baby steps and still end up hitting the ground. but not today. today i conquered that hill. but as i shuffled my constipated old lady shuffle, i could feel God pointing and laughing. the whole way, pointing and laughing. then again, maybe it was just the jackass behind me. regardless, i consider it repentance for some fun i know i shouldn't have had. and the entire winter lies ahead...