On the ride home this afternoon, I realized that I have spent right around 500 hours on the bus in the past two years. FIVE HUNDRED HOURS. I could have spent that time cleaning or masturbating or pulling on the cat’s appendages to see at which point his screeching breaks glass.

Today, my favorite sales manager took a director of sales position at a new hotel. Talk about lighting a fire under my wide ass to get the hell out of that place. Oh, but wait. It gets better. Today, MY director of sales encouraged me to apply for the departing sales manager’s position and made it sound as though she really won’t take “no” as an answer. I can’t tell her I am looking for positions out of town for fear that I will be graciously released from the hospitality clutches. Well golly gee, isn’t the red one up shit creek. My answer for this, as for most things? Avoid the topic. Make sure I’m in the bathroom every time my boss walks by my desk. Busy myself making copies every time she tries calling me.

My very favorite part of the day, however, was when the departing sales manager told Missy and me that she would like to hear honest feedback about the way things are run so she can make sure she doesn’t make the same mistakes. Oh thank GOD, finally an authority figure requests to hear everything we hate about our jobs. I have started an outline so I don’t miss a thing, but I think the most important thing is BE CAREFUL WHO YOU HIRE OR YOU’LL LOSE YOUR ENTIRE STAFF.

PS – Duluth, please hire me. I love you. I promise to be good to you, baby. Not like before. I swear I’ve changed.