Well, hello Saturday! Thanks so much for coming, and just in time! One more day in the presence of that incompetent snatchflap and I think I probably would have flipped out. On other people, I mean. I did have a couple of breakdowns yesterday, but I kept them in the bathroom and if my co-workers don't know about them, then they didn't happen. When you're crouched against the wall, trembling with anger and sobbing snot-accompanied tears in the uni-sex bathroom, you just can't help but wonder if PMS has got you by the uterus. Even if you're a man.

I got my hair cut on Thursday, which was probably the highlight of the week. Today was maybe possibly going to the the highlight - that is, slamming beers with Darren's co-workers - but old man winter, with his more-than-likely idle threats, has put an end to that. A SNOW EVENT is on its way, and I am taking this opportunity to hide out indoors like the rest of the Twin Cities. I usually don't support such big-city stupidity, but if it promotes laziness, count me in. But about the hair cut...a twenty-minute cut, no wash, no style, and I paid $40 for it. Hmm, never mind. Maybe the highlight of my week was actually yesterday when the cat shit on the bedroom floor. Thank you, Darren. You don't know how much I'll miss you.

In other news, there's nothing new. Every day at work I love the people I love so much more, and I loathe the person I loathe with more and more intensity. I blame my increasing bittnerness on the fabulously hilarious memoir I just read - Laurie Notaro's I Love Everybody (and Other Atrocious Lies): True Tales of a Loudmouth Girl. The best part is, it was a gift. I didn't even buy it for myself! Sometimes I think Darren knows me too well.

My brother and his wife are having a baby. I guess that's news, huh? We are allowed to tell the world now that she's through her first trimester. Rock on, Other Red. Keep that little sucker in there. Also, there go my future kid's chances at the gun. And also again, I hope the kid inherits Amanda's hairline rather than Mike's.

I'm going to go now and try to learn how to be a nice person again. Pray for me (but not too hard because I ate meat again yesterday, so I'm going to hell regardless of how awesome you might tell God I am).

What can really happen in a month and a half, anyway?

I still can't decide what's been more embarrassing: having a couple of black kids almost whiz their pants on the bus when they saw what I happened to be listening to on my ipod, or trying to apply chapstick from a tampon applicator, several times, in public.

This weekend I sweet-talked my sister into coming down for one last night of debauchery at the Crowne Plaza Bloomington/Majors. I thought I was so sober until I woke up and realized I didn't remember going to sleep. I also didn't know if my contacts were out. Oh! In the last month and a half, I also got contacts again. They go well with the 40 pounds I've put on in the past year. This time, Majors sucked the keys out of my purse rather than my cell phone. I can't wait to find out the replacement fees for those bad boys.

The highlights of the weekend were being stalked and subsequently forced to take the hotel shuttle to the bar and also coming back from the bar with $26 more than I went with AND! not having to do a single thing for a dollar of it. If my sister didn't have sex with that guy, she really should have.

Also, I've been applying for jobs in Duluth. I'm ready. It's time. If I stay at "my" hotel much longer, I fear I will either kill a sales manager or rape an accountant. I'm going to miss some of those SOBs.

More soon.