I bet I'm the only college-aged Irish girl who didn't get life threateningly drunk last night, aren't I? My how I've changed. Either I'm growing up (doubtful) or Darren's non-drinking ways are having an (arguably adverse) effect on my habits. I've traded in the beer for the pizza! And McDonalds! And wings! And cake! Lord help me. I'd way rather waste my liver (why not, right? I've got two!) than weigh 428 pounds.

Tomorrow I get to meet my sister's boyfriend's mother, who Angie says she thinks is named Linda. How the hell can you date someone for a year and a half and not know his mother's name? It's not like they haven't met. Of course it took about a year for Angie to meet this woman who may or may not be named Linda. Darren brought me home mere days after we met. Thank you, dear.

Speaking of parents, yesterday I was talking to my mom, who said she had thrown away pillows. Don't throw away pillows, crazy lady! Pillows are wonderful. One should never hate on pillows. But that's not the point. I asked her which pillows and she said the really flat, stinky ones (don't ask why they stink) and I told her I like the flat ones the most. And do you know what she said? "You better continue liking flat, soft things for the rest of your life." Who even says that shit?! So I told her I was too innocent to understand if she was intending to comment on matters inappropriate for an unwed (not that I'll be wedding any time soon) mind to even consider.

I can't help but wonder if I'm going to end up like her in thirty years.

AND I got a big, gross cold sore that's spreading from my lip and taking over most of my chin. And with the size of my chin, that's saying something. The pain and the vomit-inducing appearance are bad enough, but the real reason I want this bad boy to go away is so the lovely and wonderful Darren will stop talking about the herpes on my face.

Can you believe I almost went a whole post without talking about not having a job? I have an interview on Monday and I took a test for another job last week. That's to serve as proof that I AM doing something besides packing on additional padding to my ass.