I think I’ve finally found the fool-proof way to deal with job search stress. It involves a lot of crying and sleeping. Sounds productive, huh?

Take, for example, my day.

I woke up after sleeping for ten and a half hours, checked my email, and went back to bed for an hour. I rolled out of bed for the second time, fully ready to face the day, called about a job, emailed about another, found out that everything is conflicting with everything else and ohmygoodness, what if I get offered a job and I take shitty pay and then get offered a job for better pay when I’ve already started my new job? Is it unintelligent to accept a salary that would very likely put me below the poverty line despite trudging through three and a half years and thousands of dollars of college? How the hell would I get to said job, anyway? I don’t even know how to ride the bus! I should have had my flippin’ driver’s license five years ago! Lord, what to do?

Cry. Call Mom and cry. Talk to Mom for forty-five minutes, hang up, feel decent, begin new crying jag. Take shower. Think about applying for more jobs and realize how miserable the thought makes me. Read book to stop crying. Fall asleep. Sleep for three hours. It’s nearly 5:30 and I’ve been awake for less than a collective five hours today. I don’t think I could handle a job if I tried at this point.

So what do I do, kids? I’m horrible at making important decisions, so you might have to make this one for me. Do I try to get a job with less-than-great pay or hold out for something better? Keep in mind I could be holding out for the rest of my life.