A couple of hours ago, my dad called and told me my grandma had fallen down the stairs. At 94, this is obviously a cause for concern, but the first thing I thought was that she was trying to put another crack in the wall with her skull. You can only brag up one cracked wall for so long.

Dad called about fifteen minutes later to say Gram had died. A blood vessel burst in her brain as a result of the fall.

She was ninety-four years old, lived alone and her biggest physical ailment was a nearly complete inability to hear. She was lucky enough to have a daughter in town visiting when she fell, so she wasn't alone. She died either in the ambulance or when she arrived at the hospital. The details are secondhand and sketchy, but either way, Gram is gone.

She has been saying for a while now (oh, fourteen years or so) that she wants to die, which my dad thinks is not the truth. She went quickly and of course it bothers me that I was not able to say goodbye, but it makes me so happy that right now she is with Grandpa and Mary and Marlene and Uncle L and everyone else who is near and dear to her that has passed on.

I'm kind of at a loss at what I should do now. Cry, sure. I went for a walk and prayed by the baseball field, which made me feel a little better. It's always difficult for me to comprehend when someone dies that the person will never feel the rain again, never feel the heat of the sun. I read 90 Minutes in Heaven last week and have found it rather comforting. It's weird to have so many thoughts, yet have no idea which direction to point my body in.

But, I'm sure Vida, that crazy old lady, knows that she will be dearly missed. The flow of memories and the celebration of her amazing life has already started, and I look forward to hearing new stories and getting to know Gram a little bit better even if I can't let her kick my ass in rummy anymore.

Thanks for the love and the laughs, Gram. Please don't keep too close of an eye on me from up there because you will be terribly, sorely, sadly disgusted. I hope there is plenty of Diet Pepsi and Wheel of Fortune and rummy up in heaven. We're sure as hell going to miss you.